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For Fans of Jonathan Gregory Brandis (April 13, 1976 -- November 12, 2003)
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 Post subject: The Day that Trembled
PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 2:38 am 
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Posts: 22
Location: Nowhere Zen, New Jersey
I try to imagine him in a normal life,
maybe two kids and a wife,
a briefcase and an SUV.
A business or a law degree?
No doubt there still would be the smile
all teenaged girls loved for awhile-
But otherwise, where would he be
if he'd maintained obscurity?
If not for silly magazines and
casting calls, and kissing scenes?
If roles and scripts had mattered less
If he had, somehow, not impressed
directors or producers, who then used and
left him feeling bruised when all of
it came tumbling down.
Would he have found his way in life
off of the screen?
Had Hollywood not intervened,
and shown him worlds he’d never see
as just a kid from Danbury?
Would he still be the man he was-
who broke the hearts of all of us?
No doubt, those eyes would still give pause
to every woman’s path they crossed.
But perhaps the sadness we saw there
would have all but disappeared-
and all those fears would be assuaged
had he not, from such a tender age
been raised to play his parts so well
that none could tell the pain was there?
Would he have still been, thus, compelled?
Would he still have lost his head,
and then, when hanging by a thread,
still left this world, so much unsaid?
Or would, instead, he be here now,
Though much unknown,
Somehow, somewhere, less alone?
A smaller man, a smaller life,
The world to two kids, and his wife?
Instead of loved by all the world,
the fantasy of teenaged girls?
No doubt, our paths would never cross,
Would we trade our love to stop his loss,
or still embrace the albatross around his neck?
Would we rather love him to his death,
If the choice was solely ours?


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 6:38 pm 
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Here we see the 'poet' part of 'thepoetsdreamed'?
Nicely done. I can't seem to get the words to satisfy me when I try to write about Jonathan. They can never capture even a tiny bit of the real thing.
You'd think, after ten years, it would get easier to say...something...anything...

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"Your shadow is yours. I told it so. I said it was yours.
I have carried it with me for too long. I give it back." - M. Strand


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 16, 2013 11:08 pm 
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Thanks. It's hardly my usual writing style, but it was in there, so I figured I'd put it down.


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PostPosted: Sun Apr 21, 2013 8:43 am 
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Well, I respect your point of view. But being on the horns of this dilemma, it's totally useless (and I dare to say it's even masochistic) we just hurt our minds, and our feelings. Unfortunately nobody can change the past, it's something out of our control. We don't even have control of the future. We only have today, and today I choose try to focus on the good things that Jon left behind, like his beauty, his personality, his art, and few words his legacy. He took a wrong choice, but I think we have to respect his last decision. Just the way I see it. "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mistery, today is a gift of God, wish is why we call it the present"-Bill Keane.


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 8:57 am 
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You have to work your way through it - there's no shortcut or 'putting it off'. If you can face those doubts, those questions, that (undirected) guilt, those regrets...that grief...they start to lose their power over you (and they DO have power over you if you just ignore them.) I'm not suggesting that anyone wallow in their misery, but, as I have said many (many) times, Jonathan wasn't a typical guy, and that 'hold', whatever it is, doesn't just go away one day without being examined and remembered.
Such art as the above helps to channel those feelings into something positive - even if it's just to get them off our backs for awhile. And the results, a direct gift from Jonathan, came out pretty nicely. You can rewrite the past, at least for a little while, and maybe someone else will see themselves in the words or pictures or music, recognize the way through their own dilemma, in a way that they couldn't express until they encountered them, and the encounter gives some comfort - maybe just the realization that others feel the same way, maybe a way to vent some of that unresolved process, or maybe the stimulus to try to express it in their own way.
As Jon said himself, "We'll get through this together."
So far, so good.

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"Your shadow is yours. I told it so. I said it was yours.
I have carried it with me for too long. I give it back." - M. Strand


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 9:59 am 
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Thank you, Irrelevant. I said this elsewhere- maybe I should have reiterated it here... But I'm only just dealing with all of this, even though I've known about it awhile. Writing is a coping mechanism of mine- I also recently wrote a poem about the bombings in Boston. For me, it's therapeutic to work through my feelings in words- other people have different, maybe better ways. :)


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 10:41 am 
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Some people make bread (really!) They pound hell out of the dough to get out stress.

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"Your shadow is yours. I told it so. I said it was yours.
I have carried it with me for too long. I give it back." - M. Strand


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PostPosted: Mon Apr 22, 2013 10:54 am 
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Mmmm... Bread.


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PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 7:11 pm 
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irrelevant wrote:
You have to work your way through it - there's no shortcut or 'putting it off'. If you can face those doubts, those questions, that (undirected) guilt, those regrets...that grief...they start to lose their power over you (and they DO have power over you if you just ignore them.) I'm not suggesting that anyone wallow in their misery, but, as I have said many (many) times, Jonathan wasn't a typical guy, and that 'hold', whatever it is, doesn't just go away one day without being examined and remembered.
Such art as the above helps to channel those feelings into something positive - even if it's just to get them off our backs for awhile. And the results, a direct gift from Jonathan, came out pretty nicely. You can rewrite the past, at least for a little while, and maybe someone else will see themselves in the words or pictures or music, recognize the way through their own dilemma, in a way that they couldn't express until they encountered them, and the encounter gives some comfort - maybe just the realization that others feel the same way, maybe a way to vent some of that unresolved process, or maybe the stimulus to try to express it in their own way.
As Jon said himself, "We'll get through this together."
So far, so good.

Since the beginning of my comment I said that I respected her point of view. And about that you said that I have to work my way through it, with all the due respect sir, you don't know me, so please don't judge me until you know me okay?. I know that when you lose you loved one the pain and the wound are there forever. In my past misinterpreted comment, I just tried to said that when I lost someone very dear in this case Jon, my way to cope with the pain is celebrate his life. Because thank God Jon inspired me in a positive way, to create something good, something to makes people feel better (not worse) over all Jon's fans. And a good example of what I mean is JFB who created this wonderful organization. Because okay, I wasn't Jon's friend, I had not the privilege to meet Jonathan, but I'm sure he would not liked to be remember only for the way he died. Because as JFB said "Jon was more than the last thing he did". I'm really sorry that my past comment had been misinterpreted. it was not my intention make feel bad to you and your friend "the poet".


Last edited by L@dy@lis29 on Wed Apr 24, 2013 3:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:00 pm 
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thepoetsdreamed wrote:
Thank you, Irrelevant. I said this elsewhere- maybe I should have reiterated it here... But I'm only just dealing with all of this, even though I've known about it awhile. Writing is a coping mechanism of mine- I also recently wrote a poem about the bombings in Boston. For me, it's therapeutic to work through my feelings in words- other people have different, maybe better ways. :)

Ma'am a suggestion for you. Next time you post something always be prepared to give an answer to a comment, because it looks so bad that you let someone else do it for you.


Last edited by L@dy@lis29 on Tue Apr 23, 2013 8:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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